Nicole and Gordon Calderwood, from Motherwell, have turned unimaginable grief into a lasting legacy in memory of their daughters, Ava and Poppy.
At 25 weeks of pregnancy, the couple were told their unborn daughter, Ava, had a rare kidney disease called Nephronophthisis (NPHP), a condition affecting around one in 50,000 people.
Doctors advised the family that Ava might not survive birth and, if she did, she might only live for a matter of hours. However, against all odds, Ava Calderwood arrived by caesarean section on 17 March 2023, weighing 4lb 11oz.
As she entered the world, the song Build Me Up Buttercup by The Foundations played in the operating theatre – a fitting soundtrack for a little girl who would quickly become known throughout the hospital as “the miracle baby”.
Ava spent the first four weeks of her life in the Transitional Care Unit at University Hospital Wishaw, where she overcame significant health challenges and captured the hearts of staff. Many midwives, nurses and doctors would visit during their breaks for a cuddle and to see how Ava was progressing.
Gordon said: “Every day was a blessing where Ava continued to show how strong she was, brightening up everyone’s day. She surprised all of her specialists, kidney doctors and hospital staff with her progress.”
Despite her complex medical needs, Ava was eventually able to go home with her parents. The family embraced every moment together, taking day trips, visiting family and friends and creating precious memories.
Nicole said: “This wee girl was something else. She did things on her own terms. We wanted to give Ava as normal a life as possible.
“Although we had regular hospital appointments, we still enjoyed family days out and made the most of every minute we had together.”
Sadly, on 21 May 2023, Ava died peacefully in her parents’ arms aged just nine weeks.
Nicole said: “Ava inspired and touched so many people, proving that miracles can happen and giving people hope.
“Without the exceptional care, help and compassion shown by the Transitional Care Unit at University Hospital Wishaw, Ava and our family would have been lost.”
A year later, the family faced further heartbreak when daughter Poppy was stillborn on 21 May 2024 – exactly one year to the day after Ava’s death.
The couple are grateful for the compassionate care they received from maternity staff who helped them create treasured keepsakes such as photos, handprints and a memory box.
Nicole said: “The midwives became friends to us. They helped us make memories that we will hold onto forever.
“The staff made an incredibly difficult situation a little bit easier and we will always cherish them for that.”
Determined that neither daughter would be forgotten, Nicole and Gordon channelled their grief into fundraising. Through collections at both girls’ funerals, fundraising events and support from family and friends, they have raised more than £12,000.
A fundraising evening at the Macdonald Crutherland House Hotel & Spa in East Kilbride featured Build Me Up Buttercup as the first song – a tribute to Ava’s fighting spirit.
The money raised has funded a range of items within maternity services at University Hospital Wishaw, including hairdryers, straighteners, a microwave, television and enhancements to family rooms. The family have also supported staff training opportunities and contributed towards the redecoration of facilities used by families.
In addition, inspired by their own experience, the family donated two cuddle cots in memory of Ava and Poppy, to help other parents spend precious time with their babies.
Gordon said: “The training will benefit staff for years to come, helping them continue to learn and provide the best possible care for families.
“We wanted to give something back to the people who supported us through the most difficult times of our lives. Our hope is that the money raised can help other families going through a similar experience.”
Nicole continues to support families in hospital by knitting hats for newborn babies.
Although their daughters are no longer with them, Ava and Poppy remain at the centre of family life. Nicole buys birthday presents for the girls and hangs Christmas stockings for them each year. The couple also visit St Andrews, the town where they got engaged, on 21 May to mark the anniversary of their daughters’ passing.
Nicole said: “We are determined that Ava and Poppy will never be forgotten. Their legacy is helping other families and that means everything to us.”
Leah Noble, NHS Lanarkshire Interim Director of Midwifery, said: “Nicole and Gordon have shown extraordinary courage and generosity in transforming their grief into something that will benefit countless other families. Their fundraising and ongoing support have helped enhance our facilities, supported staff development and provided comfort for parents during some of the most difficult moments of their lives.
“We are incredibly grateful for everything they have done in memory of Ava and Poppy.”
